Dinkmeyer, McKay, &
Dinkmeyer developed a summary table describing the goals of
misbehaviour.
Goals of Misbehaviour |
What child might be
thinking |
How adult might feel and
react |
Child's response to
adult's action |
What might we do? |
ATTENTION |
I count only when I am
being noticed
or served. |
Annoyed; wants to remind,
coax. |
Temporarily stops
disturbing action when given attention but soon continues |
May begin new behaviour
to gain attention.
Ignore when possible.
Give attention in
unexpected ways
for positives not on demand. |
POWER |
I count only when I am
dominating, when you do what I want you to do, when I can do whatever I
want. |
Provoked, angry;
generally wants power;
-challenged;
"I'll make him/her do it"; "You can't
get away with it." |
Intensifies action when
reprimanded
Student wants to win, be boss: defiance. |
Withdraw from conflict;
act, rather than talk.
Be friendly. Establish equality. Redirect efforts into constructive
channels. |
REVENGE |
I can't be liked;I don't
have power
but I'll count if I can hurt others as I feel hurt by life. |
Hurt; "How can he/she do
this to
me?"; - retaliates,
tries to get even. |
Wants to get even. Makes
self disliked.
Seeks more revenge. |
Maintain order with
minimum restraint. Avoid retaliation. Take time help. Build trust. |
INADEQUACY |
I can't do anything
right so I won't try to do anything at all; I am no good |
Despair, hopeless,
discouraged; "I give up." |
No reprimand therefore no
reaction.
Feels there is no use to try.
Passive and no improvement. |
Encourage any positive
effort;
Have faith in a child's ability; Don’t give up, pity or criticise.
Be patient. |
- Each
of us has the resources needed for change and the potential to learn
and grow.
-
An environment that support positive behaviour facilitates change more
than one that focuses on negative behaviour.
-
All behaviour is communication. A person cannot not respond. Even no
response is a response
– although an ambiguous one. All communication matters and is worthy of
respect.
-
We cannot change past events. We can change the impact they have on us.
-
If what you are doing is not working – do something different
-
Need help in processing information.
-
Tasks need to be broken down into smaller steps or presented in a few
different ways.
-
Avoid verbal overload. Be clear. Use short sentences.
-
Need preparation for all changes in routine.
-
Respond well to positive statements and challenges “You can’t do that,
can you?”
-
Uneven skills development – sometimes good at maths but poor at
writing; can need specific learning program.
-
Will often have detailed knowledge about interests and this can be used
to stimulate learning.
-
Normal levels of auditory and visual input can be perceived as too
much/too little. This is sometimes the same for temperature.
-
Often need training/support in organisational skills such as using a
diary, noting down homework.
- Need
specific reminders to “don’t forget to use your diary” or “this is
homework, you will need to get this done by (give specific date).
-
Need help choosing partners/forming groups - work better when seated
beside a good student, so
appropriate behaviour can be modelled.
-
Sometimes have problems with abstract and conceptual thinking - need
very concrete interactions and instructions especially if being
inappropriate.
-
Use and interpret speech literally. Avoid: idioms (eg., save your
breath, jump the gun); double
meanings (jokes have double meanings); sarcasm; nicknames or ‘cute’
names (e.g., Pal, Buddy).
Irony can be absolutely lost and read as criticism.
-
Facial expression/other social cues may not work – needs a direct, calm
statement such as
“Inappropriate, Sam.”
-
An increase in unusual/difficult behaviours can indicate an increase in
stress often caused by feeling a loss of control. “Sam, I can see this
is stressful. Do you need to take some space?” often works. They really
want to be seen as ‘normal’. Have a place in the school where they can
go to get it together.
-
Poor behaviour is usually the result of efforts to survive experiences
which may be confusing,
disorienting or frightening. Often have extreme difficulty reading the
reactions of others.
-
Consistent treatment and expectations from everyone is vital.
-
Interrupt and re-direct repetitive verbal arguments/ repetitive
questions.
-
Do not rely on them to relay important messages to parents about school
stuff. Phone calls to home work well.
Resiliency
might mean...
-
problem-solving skills
-
the capacity for productive work and a sense of competence and
environmental mastery;
-
emotional security, self-acceptance, self-knowledge, and a realistic
and undistorted perception of
oneself, others, and one’s surroundings;
-
social competence and the capacity for warm and caring relating to
others and for intimacy and
respect
-
autonomy
-
a sense of purpose and future.
What
can schools do?
-
Provide strong transition programs
-
Increase opportunities pro-social relationships – clubs and social
organisations
-
Set clear, consistent boundaries
-
Teach study skills
-
Teach non-violent conflict resolution
-
Make sure there is academic mastery
-
Teach life skills
-
Provide care and support
-
Set and communicate high expectations
-
Make sure there are strong vocational and career programs
-
Talk up strengths and help work on needs
-
Provide opportunities to celebrate all achievements – including those
outside the school.
|